Death. The end of life. Or a new beginning?
I’ve been obsessing over the topic once again, especially as summer passes into autumn and soon winter. Also, the anniversary of my father’s death is getting nearer. I’ve never been very good at grieving.
My gut feeling tells me that at death consciousness ends permanently. Fortunately for me, my gut feelings have been wrong on several occassions, so I say the verdict is still out.
I sometimes think I don’t fear death as much as the act of dying. Will it be painful? Will it be sudden? Most importantly, will it be soon?
As my therapist would tell me, focus on the present, or remember Eckhart Tolle’s teachings of “The Now.” After all, that’s all we have.
If this post reads a bit funny, it’s because I’m writing it out completely through stream-of-consciousness. I usually plan out my posts in advance, but I slept through most of Saturday with a headache, and I have an overwhelming desire to post something. So why not “death?”
Personally, I like the idea of The Grim Reaper. The personification of death seems to make it less frightening. If he does exist, I just hope he has a good sense of humor.
Talk to me. What are your thoughts on the subject? Or do you prefer not to dwell on it?
I will be back tomorrow with something more coherent.
In the meantime, stay safe.
Filed under: Miscellaneous, Religion, Spirituality | Tagged: death
Four years ago, I received a call on a sunny Saturday morning, informing me t hat my oldest son had died during the night of what turned out to be a blood clot in a partially-blocked artery. He was almost 41. Less than a year later, his father succumbed to the cancer he’d been battling for three years. That whole experience was surreal: a sudden unexpected death, and one that had been looming for years. I don’t know what happens after we die, but I’m not going to lose sleep worrying about it.
My gut also tells me that all consciousness ends with death (kind of like before you were born). I hope I’m wrong, as I am sure most people do.
Recently I got engaged but we don’t plan on getting married for a while. My mom has been pushing me to get married sooner because “grandpa is 89 this year, and although he’s doing great now – he won’t be around forever.” Part of me agrees, and part of me says that once he does die it won’t matter because he won’t remember being there. I guess it’s something that would make my mom feel better, but I am not going to get married only because of her pushing – and while it would be nice to have my grandpa there it isn’t going to change our date/plans.
I also have a co-worker who is convinced that immortality from medical science is around the corner if we can live that long.
I personally don’t care. I’ve had death scares and survived and now my view is this: If I die today then it won’t matter because I’ll be dead and not aware of anything. If I don’t die then it’s a good day and I can go on planning and enjoying my life. (In other words, I try not to worry or think about it)