Shannon McDowell – One More Voice in Cyberspace

Xanax (Alprazolam)

This post is definitely a “do as I say, not as I have done” post. Consider this a disclaimer.

After my psychiatrist quickly retired, it was hard to find a doctor to fulfill my Xanax prescription. The stack I had from the psychiatrist were out-dated and couldn’t be used.

Desperate Measures

Desperate situations sometimes make people not think clearly. I was one of those people.

Before Xanax, I never did any illicit or illegal drugs. I rarely ever drank, except for an occasional glass of wine at dinner or a social beer. I didn’t smoke, and I even kept my caffeine intake to a minimum; caffeine is the last thing an anxiety-ridden person needs.

But I felt I needed more Xanax than was prescribed by my new doctor. I had tapered off slowly but not slowly enough, and the withdrawals were getting severe and started to interfere with my work and social life.

I actually considered buying Xanax online from some of the shady pharmacies located overseas. But fortunately I at least had the good sense to squelch that idea early on.

Dangerous Choices

So I improvised. Alcohol is a depressant and when mixed with Xanax, the effects of the Xanax are greatly increased. So I added alcohol to my chemistry, along with the antidepressants and Xanax.

Another trick, which worked on workdays, was to take Xanax with grapefruit juice. Grapefruit can cause Xanax to metabolize slower.

Mixing Xanax either with alcohol or grapefruit could cause serious side-effects, including poor judgment, “risk-taking” behaviors, and lack of coordination, just to name a few. In some rare cases, it could possibly be fatal.

The withdrawal symptoms lessened considerably. But now my depression increased due to the alcohol (I’m bipolar, which I will cover in another series of postings). I learned later that this process is common to addicts: switch from one addiction to another. Luckily, I never became an alcoholic, but it was still very unwise to mix benzodiazepines with alcohol. That said, it made tapering off the Xanax easier.

Slippery Slope

So my depression was getting worse just as my family life was falling apart with father’s illness. Instead of coping with it, I began to use alcohol more and more.

Another common factor with addiction is the idea of a “gateway” drug. This idea is that a potential addict starts off with one drug and then proceeds to another, stronger one, until the addict finally “kicks” the habit all together or dies. Marijuana is often considered the most common gateway drug. In my case, it was Xanax.

Addiction Can Happen to Anyone

If you told me back in the early 1990s, when I was playing frequently tennis and taking great care of my body, that I would have addiction problems a decade later, I would have laughed. All through my teens and 20s I’ve never tried marijuana, smoked tobacco, or used alcohol that often. Addiction, I sadly discovered, is a creeping illness. It lies in wait for the right time to strike, when one is most vulnerable and blinded by a “it could never happen to me” attitude.

(To be continued…)

Part 6 of this topic here